the pump

Did you enjoy that little musical interlude? You should have. It's a great song. Duh. Now, onto some actual fitness-related content.

Yesterday, approximately 20 minutes into my workout, my forearms looked like this:



Um, minus the anchor tattoos. And the over-sized fists. But, kids, I had such muscle pump going in my forearms that they hurt. I felt as if my forearm muscles were going to burst my skin open, they were so full and tight. The flexors, the extensors, the brachioradialis, all of 'em. Pumped like a mofo. While it was uncomfortable--and messed with my grip--it was also amusing. So I thought I would explore the concept of the muscle pump a little.

Basically, muscle pump is when blood fills the muscle faster than it can be cleared, causing congestion. Many people love getting a good pump. For one thing, it makes your muscles look bigger than they actually are. Also, just like getting DOMS, many people feel obtaining a pump means they had an excellent, effective workout, even though lack of a pump (or DOMS) doesn't actually mean your workout sucked. But is the pump actually good for anything other than making your muscles look pretty in the gym mirrors or (if you're me) amusing you? Opinions seem to be divided!

ExRx.net has this to say: "Bodybuilders commonly perform pumping-up exercises before appearing on stage to make their muscles appear fuller. For most of us there is no real benefit from achieving a pump (except for boosting your ego)."

Tom Venuto would disagree: "... if you’re interested in bodybuilding or physique development, then maximum pump can be very beneficial.

Most bodybuilders and even most exercise physiologists would agree that workouts that produce maximum pump can provide up to 20-25% of the increase in muscle size. This comes from sarcoplasmic and mitochondrial hypertrophy and increased capillarization. Sarcoplasmic hypertrophy looks good and is beneficial to bodybuilders, but you do tend to lose it more quickly with de-training."

And here's a dude who thinks muscle pump is so crucial, it's like an orgasm. "Most people that workout with weights and do not achieve this, are almost defeating the whole purpose of training. The pump can almost be referred to as a sexual climax because the same thing is happening. Blood is rushing into the muscle, therefore creating a wonderful feeling of increased circulation."

I don't even...

If you fall into the camp that believes muscle pump is actually an important goal to achieve every workout, well, there are lots of supplements that you can take to help you along! There's nitric oxide, a vasodilator that increases blood flow. (Kinda like Viagra? Huh. There's that orgasm thing again.) Nitric oxide is apparently generated from the amino acid l-arginine, so the two are often combined. Interestingly enough, wikipedia (which nevah lies) tells me l-argitine is necessary for the synthesis of creatine as well, and we all know how I feel about creatine, right, boys n' girls? Plus, wikipedia informs, arginine has also been used in the treatment of erectile dysfunction. Ohhhh, it's all coming together here. This must be why guys are so attached to the muscle pump. It simulates getting an erection. Or something.

Seriously? The feeling I had in my forearms yesterday? THAT'S what it feels like to all y'all when you've got a boner? Once again I must say: huh. I am so glad I was born with girl parts. In the immortal words of Elaine Benes, I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.

But since we've wandered off of today's fitness topic, lemme give you another music video that's on point.



You're welcome!

xoxo

squat like an egyptian

It occurs to me that if Egypt is not in fact considered a third world country, I will have insulted and disrespected any Egyptians who wander through. I apologize in advance. I find it impossible to resist a blog title that amuses me or the opportunity to post tangentially related music video. Nothing against you, country of Egypt.

Okay! Now that the disclaimers are out of the way, go read this article and then return. Those of you who finish before the rest of the class because you're in the highest reading group or because you skimmed OR because you already did your pre-blog homework and read it when I linked it elsewhere, get to watch this.



Shut up. It's a reward, not a punishment.

Now let's discuss the article referenced above. I went into it thinking, yeah yeah yeah, easy peasy. My posterior chain is well activated! I'm reading Rippetoe right now and was reassured to learn the fact that my glutes, hammies, and adductors hurt more than my quads after squat day is *a good thing*.



Rip and Martha both think so. My posterior chain does what it's supposed to. Apparently. And not to mention, but I am the princess of hip flexor stretches. I may ignore many other parts of my body that need loosening, but I do keep my hips open.

So, yeah, I went into this exercise thinking I would ace it. How humiliating to find that if I attempt it the way the author proscribes, I go immediately onto my toes. The only way I can go into a deep squat with my heels flat on the ground is to spread my legs far, far wider than shoulder width apart. And even then, my feet roll to the outside edge. Damn you, 21st century!

Just like dips on the kitchen counters and kegels, this is something I'ma have to incorporate into my daily life. Can't hurt!

xoxo

foam, the other white meat

Here are some foam rolling videos I have painstakingly youtubed for your edification. Alright, alright, for *my* edification so that when the damn thing comes in the mail. I'll know where to begin.



I foresee wearing the new sports bra that really straps those puppies down while doing this one, or I predict an inadvertent boob injury. (Note: inadvertent is one of those words I like that has no antonym even though it should. There's no such word as "advertent." Also? Even if there were, who would have an advertent boob injury? Um, don't answer that.)



This one's gonna hurt. The last time I had a massage, I almost started crying when the MT started working on my IT band. I had no idea it was that tight till she began messing with it!



That looks a lil tricky, but getting at the psoas always is!



Back to this chick again. Apparently she's foam rolled her entire body for our viewing pleasure.



Dude gets extra points for mentioning the QLs, my favorite muscles no one's ever heard of. Also for the hood of his hoodie getting in his way, because you *know* I've been there.



But, look! Dr Ben Kim wants to specifically target our QLs. Atta boy! (Do we think that's Mrs Dr Kim modeling?)



Mrs Dr Kim wants to save us from our neck pain as well!

Okay, I think I've got the basics down here. Doesn't look like one needs a college degree or even a massage school diploma to work this shiz. Luckily, I've got both just in case. Happy rolling, y'all!

xoxo

valentine's day in andrea's fitness land

I owe all y'all a post on my homework, but that will have to wait. Because I didn't do it. My homework, that is. My fitness horizons have remained un-widened. It's not my fault, I swear. Other things keep coming up. Like, you know, my job n' shit. As much as I would like to blow off work for my readers' entertainment, Nationalgrid and Verizon and the city demand I pay those bills they send me. God. There's hope for tomorrow, however! Stay tuned.

Meanwhile, let's talk about what I bought today. I wanted to buy myself a Valentine's Day gift because, face it, I'm awesome. It's not my fault no one else appreciates that. (Don't you go telling me people *who do their fitness homework* all have adoring lovers who send them flowers and jewelry and, I dunno, vats of whey. I refuse to believe it.) My first thought was to break down and buy my microplates. But this morning I had another thought. You see, I stepped on my scale three times and got three different numbers. I counted the one I liked best. Duh. It then occurred to me that, aha! perhaps the reason that I have been so frustrated with the scale number of late is because my scale isn't really working properly anymore. I mean, it is somewhere around 15 years old. When I had to replace the battery last year--for probably the first time--I found it was a 9V. You know what else has a 9V battery? My garage door remote. Which is also over 15 years old. I'm not sure new things are made with those these days. Also, my scale while digital, only shows pounds. It's 120 or 117 or 113, not 116.4. Which is kind of good, in my opinion. I've seen people throw fits because they were up .6 lbs, an amount that could be taken care of by taking a hearty dump, y'know? But, anyway, point is: my scale's an antique.

So I decided my gift to me would be a new, presumably more accurate scale. The fact that I could well weigh 5 pounds more on it did not escape my consideration, but I figured that's the chance I'ma have to take. I went on amazon to peruse my options. Searching for bathroom scale returned 1,164 choices. Seriously. 1,164. And some of them had thousands of customer reviews. In one case, 4800 reviews. I find it hard to believe that almost five thousand people had such strong feelings about a scale, they were moved to write a coherent paragraph or two praising or damning it, but then again I'm getting a whole damn blog post outta this business.

There are mega-expensive bathroom scales that (inaccurately) give you your bodyfat percentage. There are scales that will weigh you even if you weigh over 400 lbs. There's even a scale that talks to you. Apparently this is for when you are too hefty to be able to see the scale's readout. No comment. Okay--one comment. If I were that fat, I think I would prefer to use a balance beam type scale with the weight reading in front of me rather than listen to my talking appliance remind me that I'm 476 lbs today. But I guess we're all different. There's a wifi scale that will transmit your weight to your phone or computer where it will then make pretty graphs for you. There are glass-topped scales and backlit scales and scales with large print readouts. There are scales that run on AAA batteries and scales that run on lithium ion batteries.

Well.

I went old skool.



No batteries required. No talking. No wifi. 4 1/2 stars on amazon. 24 bucks. And then I bought the foam roller I've been wanting. That will be another post on its own! Promises, promises.

xoxo

vile calumny and slander

Have you heard about the anti-cheese billboards in NY state? They were placed by the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, a group whose agenda is vegan and who have heavy ties with PETA. Their contention that cheese makes you fatty fat fat therefore is less motivated by concerns about your health, dear consumer, and more motivated by their animal rights political agenda.

Well. We all know how I feel about cheese, don't we kids? When I first heard about those billboards at the end of last week, I pulled out my camera to document what cheese I had in my house. Note: end of week=running low on groceries.

There was shredded parm:



There were goat cheese crumbles for my salads:


There were babybels, which no one has been eating because we only like the yellow or orange ones actually:

There was good ol' white trash Land O' Lakes white American from the deli for cheeseburgers:



There was a hunk of champagne cheddar, bought after I tasted a sample on a Costco run with a friend:



And there was string cheese, a staple of my diet:

There was also a tiny bit of part skim ricotta left in the tub, which I unfortunately didn't photograph.

I did, however, photograph myself this weekend.



See how fatty fat fat my cheese-filled diet has made me?

Suck it, PCRM.

xoxo

here there be dragons

Here's my question to all y'all. In your fitness life, do you try new things? Or do you stick with the tried-n-true? In my admittedly limited experience, people mostly stick with what they know. At my Y, there are the pool people, and the Zumba/spin/cardio class people, and the cardio machine people, and the weightlifting people, and the yoga people. Oh! and the guys who just come to play pick up basketball. While the cardio machine people may wander over and do some half-assed weights and the weightlifting people may grudgingly grind out some cardio, what with the two areas right next to each other, I don't think there are a lot of pool people drying off and heading to Zumba or spinners squatting on their days off. And if there is anyone at my Y that takes advantage of all the fitness opportunities open to them, bless 'em, but I don't know who they are.

Of course, I count myself amongst the many. I lift weights. I grudgingly do some cardio on the machines. Outside the gym I go for walks and, rarely, runs in the nice weather, and I do just enough yoga on my own either on the mats after lifting or at home to keep my hips from completely seizing up. I have made it to one, yes *one*, actual yoga class in the almost a year and a half that I've belonged to the Y, and for god's sake, they're FREE. There are so many things I say I want to try, but do I ever make the time and effort? No.



I want to try spin class.



I want to try indoor rock climbing. (Not available of course at my ghetto Y, but one of our sister facilities in the fancy-pants neighborhood has one I could use.)



I want to try hot yoga. 'Cause having someone else fling their sweat onto me while I get in touch with my body and spirit seems fun. Or something. This however costs $$$.



I even want to try bootcamp some day despite the fact that a.) at my Y it takes place 3 days a week at 6:30am and the only physical activity I ever wish to engage in at that hour of the morning doesn't involve actually getting out of bed and b.) a friend who's a Vietnam-era vet laughs his ass off at upper middle class, middle aged people paying for faux "boot camp" and I can see his point.



Hell, I might even try water aerobics, if it wasn't almost entirely the province of little old ladies at my Y, many of whom use canes to make it to the actual pool. Eh. Maybe in 30 years.

So here's the thing. I am supposed to be on a rest week from lifting this week, mainly because all my weightlifting buddies gasped in horror that I haven't taken one since 4th of July. I'm bowing to the peer pressure. I'm sure my poor abused hammies will thank me. So what did I do today? I went to the gym and used the treadmill. Sigh. Not exactly breaking out of my rut, am I? Therefore I am setting myself a challenge. This week I will do one new fitness thing. And then I will report back, probably with humiliating but hilarious stories!

Stay tuned!

xoxo

P.S. If you have an idea for something you'd like to see me try this week (for my health and/or my readers' amusement), drop me a comment!

well, you gotta keep your boobs somewhere

Can we talk sports bras? I am in the market for a new one. The one I have, pictured above, is 2 1/2 years old and has seen better days. The black (or something else I washed it with) has bled into the white trim, which is now kinda greige. One of the hooks is cockeyed and I have to keep squishing it back into its original form so it doesn't poke me in the skin when I lean against it. It's been washed a lot--I wear it several times a week, even though strictly speaking I don't need it to lift in (it just comes in handy for sticking my iPod into***)--so it's probably not as supportive as it once was. Yeah, in general: seen better days.

I've been looking online for possible replacements. Why not just get the same one that's served you for 2 1/2 years, Andrea? you ask. Well. Look at the back view above. See that top set of hooks between the scapulae? Once upon a time, they were a pain in the ass to fasten, but doable. Now, not so much. I would LIKE to attribute that to my awesome lat growth and say my arms don't meet as well behind my back as they used to, but honestly, it's more like I impinged my right shoulder doing dips and my right arm doesn't reach around my back quite as well as it used to. So, first set of criteria for the new bra? One set of hooks.

I have a bunch of criteria, actually. The one set of hooks goes both ways: can't have two sets, can't have none. Oh sweet baby Jesus, no. None of that pull on over your head nonsense. If there is anything as maddening as trying to get out of one of those pull-on sports bras when you're sweaty, I dunno what it could be. When I had one years ago I can remember spending five minutes trying to peel it off my sweat-soaked body and then having to suppress the urge to fling it across the locker room in frustration and stomp on it. Never again.

Another crucial requirement? It must come in actual bra sizes. Small, medium, large doesn't cut it. It has to be an actual bra, not a sports top. Additionally, it must of course come in my actual bra size (or indeed, one size larger, because I have to size up in sports bras) and my bra size is not all that typical.

A not crucial but "it would be nice" requirement would be for it to not cost 60-something bucks like the last one. If I'm wearing it primarily to stash my iPod in, it doesn't have to have *quite* the level of engineering as it did when I wanted it primarily for running.

Let's look at some candidates, shall we?

Natori Sports Bra 34439


Pros: plenty of room to hold the ol' iPod, only costs $48, comes in colors like gray and red and black. Note: I prefer a colored sports bra to one that's white or flesh-toned, so that when the straps are showing under my beater, they look less like bra straps and more like another top.

Cons: it has underwire. Not sure how I feel about underwire in a sports bra. Hmmmmm...

Freya Active Underwire Sports Bra 4492



Pros: that's a damn nice looking bra.

Cons: it cost $60 and not only has underwire, but molded cups too.

Panache Full-Busted Underwire Sports Bra 5021


Pros: another nice looking bra.

Cons: costs $68 and not only has underwire but "contour pads". Wut? Now they're just fucking with me.

Anita Active Front Close Sports Bra 5523



Pros: in the black color, it doesn't look quite so much like something your Great-aunt Madeline wears in the nursing home. It doesn't have underwire.

Cons: that's a whole lotta bra and a whole lotta hooks to fasten, even if they are in the front.

Shock Absorber D+Max Support Sports Bra N109


Pros: by the same company as my old one and seems to closely resemble it, with no underwire and no molded cups BUT only has one set of hooks in the back

Cons: even in black, it's just kinda "meh" looking and it's $59

Moving Comfort Fiona Sports Bra 350003



Pros: comes in black, sky blue, and brown, has no underwire, no padding, only $44, has rave reviews online

Cons: ummmmm, maybe we have a winner?!?

Anyone have a favorite sports bra they'd like to recommend?

xoxo

***Please. If you think there's something weird about that, all I can say is obviously you didn't have an immigrant grandmother who could produce a hankie or a change purse from in between her voluminous cleavage at any moment