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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

valentine's day in andrea's fitness land

I owe all y'all a post on my homework, but that will have to wait. Because I didn't do it. My homework, that is. My fitness horizons have remained un-widened. It's not my fault, I swear. Other things keep coming up. Like, you know, my job n' shit. As much as I would like to blow off work for my readers' entertainment, Nationalgrid and Verizon and the city demand I pay those bills they send me. God. There's hope for tomorrow, however! Stay tuned.

Meanwhile, let's talk about what I bought today. I wanted to buy myself a Valentine's Day gift because, face it, I'm awesome. It's not my fault no one else appreciates that. (Don't you go telling me people *who do their fitness homework* all have adoring lovers who send them flowers and jewelry and, I dunno, vats of whey. I refuse to believe it.) My first thought was to break down and buy my microplates. But this morning I had another thought. You see, I stepped on my scale three times and got three different numbers. I counted the one I liked best. Duh. It then occurred to me that, aha! perhaps the reason that I have been so frustrated with the scale number of late is because my scale isn't really working properly anymore. I mean, it is somewhere around 15 years old. When I had to replace the battery last year--for probably the first time--I found it was a 9V. You know what else has a 9V battery? My garage door remote. Which is also over 15 years old. I'm not sure new things are made with those these days. Also, my scale while digital, only shows pounds. It's 120 or 117 or 113, not 116.4. Which is kind of good, in my opinion. I've seen people throw fits because they were up .6 lbs, an amount that could be taken care of by taking a hearty dump, y'know? But, anyway, point is: my scale's an antique.

So I decided my gift to me would be a new, presumably more accurate scale. The fact that I could well weigh 5 pounds more on it did not escape my consideration, but I figured that's the chance I'ma have to take. I went on amazon to peruse my options. Searching for bathroom scale returned 1,164 choices. Seriously. 1,164. And some of them had thousands of customer reviews. In one case, 4800 reviews. I find it hard to believe that almost five thousand people had such strong feelings about a scale, they were moved to write a coherent paragraph or two praising or damning it, but then again I'm getting a whole damn blog post outta this business.

There are mega-expensive bathroom scales that (inaccurately) give you your bodyfat percentage. There are scales that will weigh you even if you weigh over 400 lbs. There's even a scale that talks to you. Apparently this is for when you are too hefty to be able to see the scale's readout. No comment. Okay--one comment. If I were that fat, I think I would prefer to use a balance beam type scale with the weight reading in front of me rather than listen to my talking appliance remind me that I'm 476 lbs today. But I guess we're all different. There's a wifi scale that will transmit your weight to your phone or computer where it will then make pretty graphs for you. There are glass-topped scales and backlit scales and scales with large print readouts. There are scales that run on AAA batteries and scales that run on lithium ion batteries.


I went old skool.

No batteries required. No talking. No wifi. 4 1/2 stars on amazon. 24 bucks. And then I bought the foam roller I've been wanting. That will be another post on its own! Promises, promises.


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