expensive pee

I was buying a friend a birthday gift online from Anthropologie, and while I was on there, I bought myself some little orange ceramic bowls on sale. The package arrived the other day. I washed them off and went to put them away in the kitchen cabinet in which we keep our everyday dishes and glasses, only to find that there was no place for them. I complained of such to my son who happened to be right there. He told me there was a lot of crap on the top shelf that could go. I pulled a chair over and climbed up. (5'2, shut up.)

Behind some Ikea glasses and some bud vases that belonged to my mother and that I never use, there was a veritable supplement graveyard. "I guess this shit's all expired, huh?" Oh, yes. Most of it back in '06 and '07. Colon cleanse. Yours. CortiSlim. Mine. Vitamin C. Yours. "Who bought these carb blockers?"

"Must've been you, because I never bought anything for weight loss."

"Oh, yeah? I doubt that. This Hydroxycut's definitely yours. I would never have taken that."

It all went into the trash. But I'm sure you get the gist. The creatine is only the latest in a long line of supplements that I've bought because someone told me they'd be good for me and it seemed reasonable at the time. And my kid's obviously the same way. We have, in this family, what is known as expensive pee. Sigh.

Here's a few unexpired things I have hanging around, some of which I actually take once in a while.

Fresh out of cranberry capsules and chewable B12s, but they make an appearance on occasion too. Oh, and I didn't haul the jar of coconut oil out of the cabinet either. See, I have some I've never cooked with, but which I used to swish around in my mouth for 15 minutes a day for awhile last summer. Oil pulling. (Trust me. You don't wanna know.)

I'm not totally convinced that anything I've ever taken from the Vitamin Shoppe or bodybuilding.com or aisle 6 at the CVS has ever actually really done anything. (But, dudes, imagine how crappy and unhealthy I'd probably feel if I hadn't! Something like that. ) I remain, on day five, optimistic about the creatine. Just thinking it's going to make me able to lift heavier will probably make me able to lift heavier. Who cares if something works because it works or if it works because it's a placebo? Results! That's all that matters.

Speaking of which, I nailed the 105 lb seated calf raises yesterday after my previous humiliating fail with them. Though I keep telling Liz, I dunno why I keep pushing the weights on those. I'll be buying freaking wide calf boots next winter. I'll be banished to fat ladies' shoe stores and it will be all my own fault. Plus, the extended sizes probably cost more. That'll cut down on my disposable supplement income. God. I really should carefully re-think this.

xoxo