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Thursday, April 5, 2012

like a dyson for your abs!

If you've heard me talk about working out at all, you probably know two things pertinent to this blog entry. Firstly, I hate direct ab work and I pretty much refuse to do it. You will see me doing crunches round about the time Satan needs a down jacket, okay? Secondly, despite my refusal to do direct ab work, all that squatting and deadlifting I've been doing over the past year has strengthened my core A LOT and built up both my abs and my lower back muscles. The downside to that however, is that it's widened my waist a bit, and that makes me sad. My waist measurement was 25 inches last year. Now it's 26, and it's not more fat, I swear. (In before "stop complaining about your 26 inch waist, bitch." Ahem.)

So, imagine my fascination when I heard about an abdominal exercise that is touted to actually effectively decrease your waist size while NOT involving any of those nasty crunches or leg lifts. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: the stomach vacuum!

Here's an attractive young woman explaining why crunches are actually *bad* for you (hint: tight hip flexors!) and demonstrating (sorta) how to do stomach vacuums.

And here's an attractive young man (don't ever say I don't give you equal opportunity eye candy!) explaining in great detail just how crunches fuck up your body and athletic performance and, oh, why Ken Griffey Jr's ass was so big and why he kept injuring his hammies and, yeah, why you should try stomach vacuums. He does go on and on, but it's pretty interesting and worth a listen. Plus, did I mention his pretty face? Yeah.

Here's a better tutorial on how to stomach vacuum.

And I do not know WHAT the hell this woman thinks she's doing, but man, is it ever mesmerizing. Damn. I just watched that like three times in a row.

Anyway, kids, I intend to adopt the stomach vacuum and see what happens. Anyone else in on this?



  1. Expecting a full, unbiased report on this, because lord knows I need a smaller waist.

    (You didn't think you'd get rid of my that easily, did you?)

  2. Oh, hai. :-)

    Dude, experiment with me! We can be a study pop of 2. (And when you can do what that last chick is doing, I demand video of it on *your* blog. C'mon now.)

  3. He is cute. I just wish he wasn't so lecture-y.

    What happens if you didn't exhale all the air out b/c a little more comes out when you draw your abs all the way in?

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  5. Oh wow, thanks Andrea! I can't believe it, my mom SHOWED me how to do these in the 60s (that would be 1960s, not when she was in her 60s). It is good to see them demonstrated by the professionals, ahem. I am SO doing these!
    Whatever that woman was doing needed over-apologizing. Probably too snarky; she did not deserve that; she seemed sweet. I'm just cranky because I sit too much, which may explain my hip pain (but is definitely not the exclusive explanation for my flat ass).
    Edited for word I left out
    Ahhh haaa haaa The captcha word this time around was AwaYhO. No, seriously! now that I think of it, I wonder if I should take that personally...