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Thursday, July 4, 2013

i don't believe it for one tiny minute

Happy 4th of July, Americans! In order to celebrate the founding of my free nation, I'm going to use my precious constitutional right to free speech to call bullshit. Really, it's all about that, not the fact that I'm procrastinating putting on pants because I'm using the constitutional right to be lazy (which I'm sure Jefferson and Madison totally meant to put in there before they were overruled by George Wythe**, a known killjoy).

What are you calling bullshit on, Andrea? you ask.  Well, kids, yesterday I was at the salon being made, if not beautiful, as presentable as I'm gonna be, and while the magickal chemicals were turning my gray hairs back to my preferred reddish brown, I was perusing a People magazine a prior client had left where I was sitting.  It was apparently some sort of bikini-body issue (sigh) with an article of the (predictably stupid) fad diets/eating plans various celebrities follow with critique thereon by (less predictably but still stupid) mainstream nutritionists.  (Example: one sniffed about some IF***-ish plan that he didn't like that there's no breakfast.  Dear lord, it's 2013. Are we still sticking to that outdated canard that breakfast is the most important meal of the day for everyone everywhere at all times against the abundant evidence that some people do just fine and feel much better not eating first thing?)

God, there's a lot of parenthetical asides in that paragraph. That's what happens when the writer isn't wearing pants, apparently.

But, anyway. What I really wanted to rant about was not that article, but the accompanying feature where four female--of course--celebrities shared their food diaries for a day. Did I find it surprising that some model-type claimed to eat 1100 calories a day? No. Was it unbelievable that some Real Housewife of Wherever ate 2600?  No, and bravo for your apparent honesty, Reality TV Person I Have No Knowledge Of.  No. What I call bullshit on is that Laila Ali, female boxer, daughter of Muhammad, eats 1330 calories a day.

Does that look like a woman who can/does/should subsist on 1300 calories a day?  Did she grow those muscles on, like, pixie dust and good genetics?  Granted she looks more like this now:

Apparently--and I didn't notice this till I just put those two photos side by side--a 1300 calorie a day diet lightens your skin tone by three shades as well as drops the pounds!

SMH. So much. People magazine, you suck.

Ms Ali's food diary was full of, like, salmon and veggies and a protein shake with coconut oil in it and all the other stereotypical Clean Eating faves. I have no issue with her claiming to eat that way.  Some people really do eat that healthily all the time, and bless them.  It's that calorie count I have an issue with.  I wouldn't even bat an eye, much, if she said, well, I have a 2 year old and I put on a bunch of pregnancy weight and now that I'm a media celeb, not a professional athlete, I had to go on a super hard cut and diet crazily in order to be in a bathing suit in a national publication.  It's the presenting that amount of food as what she eats, all the time, to maintain that body that I find a.) unbelievable and b.) toxic.  She's 5'10 and, at least when she was boxing, in the 160s.  I am sure Ms Ali can/does/should eat twice that amount to maintain the body above.  How refreshing would it be to read her saying, "Yeah, I'm a big girl**** and I work out hard and I eat 2500 calories every day to give my body the fuel it needs"?  Instead, she's just reinforcing all the mainstream media garbage that women need to starve to look good. Feh.

And, again, that skin lightening crap?  Double feh. Would your father have let them photoshop out his blackness, Ms Ali?  I don't think so.


**I had to look up who was on the committee to write the constitution. I coulda guessed Jefferson and Madison and Paine and Adams, but I never freaking heard of George Wythe.  I blame my public ghetto high school.

Also, he probably wasn't a noted killjoy. Authorial license.

***intermittent fasting, if you're not up on the trendy nomenclature

****she refers to herself that way in the article, that's not my choice of words


  1. I preferred the first photo....

    I am 5'10, if I ate 1300 calories a day I would fall over. Lots.

  2. I preferred the first photo too! When we were discussing this Elsewhere, one of my friends astutely pointed out that in the second photo they carefully arranged her long hair over her shoulders, traps, and upper arms "to cover all those lingering horrid unladylike muscles oh god." SMH, People magazine, SMH.

  3. Oh wow, that's crazy. There's no way I believe that - and it almost makes me think that when she was being interviewed, she said she ate 2300, and then the editor was like "Oh no, that can't be right, I mean, she's a woman! There's no WAY we can tell people she eats that much, or that it's acceptable to eat that much - she can't have been right - she must have meant 1300. Oh yes, that's much better!"

    I'd be curious to hear her response to the article!

  4. I see she has a website with an email contact:

    Maybe we should all write to her and ask her to explain herself! ;-)

  5. Andrea, so delighted to find your site (by way of Cranky Fitness). First, THANK YOU for supporting the idea that not everyone benefits from eating three meals and three snacks per day.
    I grew up eating in the evening, after a long day of two or three workouts a day at Olympic level sport and school. I was fine, never hungry and maintained my wt. in the 130s, at my 5'7'' height, into my mid 30s. At that time I bought into the "healthy way" of eating, became ravenous and gained an enormous amt. of weight, with which I struggled the next 20 years.
    I finally decided to go back to my life long way of eating, got back to 140s, where I maintain relatively easily, eating an avg. of 2400 calories a day. I am in my mid 50s and will never listen to the "wisdom" of the health gurus again.
    Thank you for the history lesson. I had not heard of George Wythe either but wow, I am glad I know now!

  6. Dlamb, I am delighted for you to be here :-)

  7. Thank you so much Andrea! That is so gracious of you. I hope i am not too annoying with the comments I leave on every entry. Whenever I find a new blog I really like, I start reading from the beginning and work my way to the present.

    Since I don't have what it takes to maintain a blog, I am always very grateful and appreciative of those who do. It seems the least I can do is to acknowledge their effort and the information they provide, not to mention the entertainment, by leaving a comment. If it is excessive and becomes annoying, which it might, pls. tell me and I'll stop. :)

  8. I am just astounded (and flattered of course) that anyone would go back and read the entirety of my bunch of nonsense from the beginning :-)

  9. How kind of you! No, it is not nonsense at all, I am enjoying it enormously! I am not a person who reads a lot of blogs. When I find one that I like, usually based on the writing style and quite honestly perspective regarding certain issues, I want to familiarize myself with the writer so I can put current posts in some sort of context.
    In addition, I truly like learning about, well, almost anything but particularly subjects about which I have no knowledge. I read from the beginning, not only in order to become educated, if it is a topical blog, like yours, but because I would like to avoid the tedium (for the blogger) of asking questions that may have been answered already.
    So thank you for providing this opportunity. I will feel more secure now, in the knowledge that my comments are not an irritant (except by way of content, but I hope that is only episodic). Back to where I left off.