oh, look who's a badass

OR...give me my own infomercial now, please!

I've been stuck at 12.5 pounds of assist on the assisted pullup machine at the gym forever. They never seem to get easier, despite the fact that I've been able to do a bunch of chins for a long time.  I was whining in envy about one of my Amazonian friend's ability to do unassisted pullups despite weighing more than I do, and saying that I really wanted to be able to do them, when she said, basically, well, so what's stopping you?

With that in mind, yesterday I pulled out the Iron Gym Total Upper Body Workout Bar that I got for my birthday six months ago and installed it in the doorway. I figured trying and failing to get a couple unassisted pullups in the privacy of my own home would be less mortifying than trying and failing in front of my usual gym audience of old dudes, Dominican teenagers, and bros who walk in front of my video camera. And fail I did on my first try. So I busted out a bunch of sets of chins over the course of the evening in amongst my yoga stretching and foam rolling and Versa Gripp rehearsing, just for fun. And then on my way to bed I tried overhand pullups one more time, and unencumbered by thoughts that I couldn't do it, got TWO.

I left the Iron Gym up (despite the instruction booklet's stern warning not to do that [ha!]) and swore I would capture this for posterity today.

Disclaimer #1: I know I have no business taking video with my shirt off considering not only that I am bulking but Female Problems are making my bloated as fuck, but I hoped to be able to see my back muscles working in the vids.  Sadly, despite my ability to do chins and pullups, I apparently have no visible back muscle. So I shoulda kept my shirt on and saved y'all the horror. Oh well.

Disclaimer #2: These probably aren't strictly dead hang, but I think they're a'ight.

Chins x7

Pullups x4 (okay, 3 1/2--that last one's pretty shitty)

So what I'm saying is, Iron Gym people, call me!  I promise I'll go on a diet and/or keep my shirt on in the commercial. Plus, imagine what could be accomplished with professional hair and makeup!  You could spray paint some fake abs on me!

xoxo